The positives behind the long-distance relationship By: Angelina Cruz
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By Angelina Cruz
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If you are in a long-distance relationship, then you are one of those lucky few to experience an interesting and unique way to love. There are so many negative aspects associated with long-distance relationships today that it is sometimes hard to see the silver-lining around them. Although being separated from your partner can place a physical and emotional limitation on your day-to-day life, there are actually many benefits to this type of relationship. Enjoy!
Individual Growth:
The distance between you and your partner compels individuality. For many couples (although not all), being around each other daily leads to synchrony of personality and behavior. They do everything together, they finish each other?s sentences, and they act so much alike that it is hard to distinguish one personality from the other. Although this may seem cute at first, it has its downsides. There is little room for growth, and each individual is defined by their partner. In a long distance relationship, you have time to discover the person you are. You have time to think about your own values, your own goals, and your individual persona.
Strengthens Emotional Bond:
Society today is obsessed with sex; it is everywhere ? on television and in the media. Talk shows and magazines today tell us that sex is the primary part of a relationship, and although it is important, it should not be the dominant force driving a relationship. There are numerous long-distance relationships that break off due to the lack of physical contact. This is sad, because it shows us that sex is often regarded as the glue that holds a relationship together.
The great thing about a long-distance relationship is that it can help strengthen the bond that goes beyond the physical between you and your partner, because you have more time to talk to each other about yourselves and about each other. A long-distance relationship fosters communication and trust-building. These two features are a must for any relationship, and they enable the relationship to run smoothly. Being in a long-distance relationship can help strengthen these aspects, as more time and effort is spent on them, since each individual cannot be physically near each other.
Appreciation for the Moments Spent Together:
When you are around someone constantly, it can be easy to take them for granted. It?s easy for couples to get so wrapped up in their daily lives and schedules that they forget to value each other; they get into arguments and become caught up in problems that can lead to a break up. Such reactions can be heightened in moments of stress, such as in the aftermath of having a bad day at work. Of course, days like these are normal for anyone, but they can take a toll on a relationship, especially if they happen regularly. It is a sad truth, but sometimes being away from the person you love can be good for you. Distance teaches you and your partner the value of your relationship, as well as greater appreciation for the time you two get to spend together. You begin missing their laugh, their jokes, and their company. This is not bad; it just shows you how much you love your partner.
Tests the Love:
Sometimes it seems that those couples who spend the most time with each other have greater love, but this is not always true. There are couples who are close and spend all of their time together, but once something separates them (maybe one getting a job in a different state), they break up because they cannot handle the distance. This is heartbreaking, because they are willing to give up their love for the immediate security in staying close together. They neglect to see that they will be together again and could grow personally from the experience of being apart. A long-distance relationship can really test and challenge you and your partner?s love for each other. To be willing to spend days, weeks, or even months apart is a great accomplishment, and in the end, it can bring much happiness when you and your partner are reunited again. However, there are those couples who break up once they enter a long-distance relationship. This can happen for various reasons I?ll discuss in a future article.
All in all, a long-distance relationship requires commitment from both you and your partner to work. It requires communication and trust. There will be rough patches, of course, but if each individual clearly knows the reason why they are in the relationship and recognizes their common goal to share life together, then the benefits of the outcome will outweigh the negatives. If there is a time in your relationship when you are feeling distressed, because you miss your partner, keep this wise quote in mind, ?Distance between two hearts is not an obstacle; rather a great reminder of just how strong true love can be.?
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Angelina Cruz is a student at the University of California, Santa Barbara majoring in psychology. She works in the Vision Lab for the psychological and brain sciences department at UCSB, and volunteers at the Goleta Valley Hospital taking care of the elderly. Her goal is to use her knowledge and skills in psychology to help individuals live a better life mentally and emotionally. Angelina intends to pursue a Ph.D in Neuropsychology.
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